At 38+2 (a few hours after getting home from Boris’ birthday celebrations) I woke up to pain at about 5:30am feeling like I had to do a massive poo haha. Went to the bathroom a couple of times and nothing happened.

Around an hour later woke Boris up because I was moaning through the pain. He told me to call the hospital. Through my description they told me my body was probably trying to clear itself out ready for labour and is probably a poo (I didn’t know what surges felt like), call back if the pain is 2 minutes apart for 1 minute. I remember thinking if this is poo pain I’m never going to survive labour.

I was quite confused because the pain wasn’t really going away like I though with surges it did. But it did get worse and then ease off. Turns out they were surges but things were happening quite quickly. A few minutes later I went to the toilet and had my birth show. Called them back and told me I’ll probably go into labour today.

I laboured in the shower for a while and Boris started timing my surges and about 20 minutes after hanging up the phone he told me its time to call back. I did and the midwife was very much like ‘oh it’s your first baby you’ll probably have ages, come in if you want but might have to send you home if it’s not time’.

We got ourselves together and got to the hospital around 8am, triage took one look at me and admitted me straight away, I think at this point I must have been close to transition. Was finding it very hard at this point but still felt solid on going med free, Boris really helped to reassure me.

It was very busy that day and only got into a birth room about 40 minutes before he was born. I was labouring on the toilet in an assessment room when I felt I had to push and the sensation of involuntary pushing was such a shock to me!

Midwifes had all read my birth plan and were really supportive of my choices. But at that point we’re pushing for me to accept an internal exam to check I was pushing at the right time but didn’t need to tell me my dilation if I didn’t wish. I said I don’t want to and would be impossible for me lie on my back anyway. She positioned me better leaning over the bed which was great and we compromised that she would just insert a finger to see if she could feel any cervix. I consented and didn’t even feel it.

She seemed surprised and asked if I wanted to know – I said if it’s good news and she said baby’s head is right there, I couldn’t believe it! I asked for some gas at this point which was a great help and remained on the lowest setting. Boris kept pushing that we wanted a waterbirth and will need a birth room soon to facilitate this. The midwife said there wouldn’t be any time to fill a bath we will be having a baby very soon.

After a while in this position they had a room which I had to be moved to naked squatting in a wheelchair through the corridor with a sheet over me 😅 Once in the birth suite with more pushing midwives wanted to monitor baby because I had been pushing for a while. I said okay but I want the sound off. I think baby kept going back in after the surge and heartbeat was dropping, the midwives politely said that they know I don’t want to do coached pushing but baby needs to come out and I didn’t get it at the time but Boris thinks they were insinuating if I don’t get him out soon I’ll need intervention.

They told me to leave the gas as it was distracting me and just give it absolutely everything. I have never pushed so hard. It hurt so bad. I have never worked so hard. But baby Sasha arrived and was placed into my arms! They respected that I wanted to check the gender for myself and was so surprised to have a little boy we were convinced he was a girl. I got to have skin to skin for 3 full hours before any suggestion of weighing him etc. We got to breastfeed straight away. I also managed a physiological 3rd stage at exactly an hour after delivery. Unfortunately I did suffer a small 2nd degree tear that’s healing great, probably from the forced pushing but feels like a small price to pay. 

I couldn’t believe after all our anxiety and fear over induction and section I got my dream birth. 12 days early, 5+1/2 hour drug free labour. Feels amazing that I did it all on my own with Boris’ help and support.

Thank you so much for giving us the confidence, knowledge and understanding of our choices and the skills to advocate for what we want 🙂

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